I spent some time this last week with tO, probably (sadly) for the last time, ever.
There was no play involved, but there were some elements. He really has the spanking down - not letting up when he knows I'm reaching my pain threshold. "Spanking through"? Similar to a running phenomenon running through.
And my hair... grabbing a handful and yanking me back, pulling me into a very uncomfortable backbend. Painful, scary and intense. Couple that with his fingers I'm my cunt stroking my g-spot... Hmmm. I get wet just remembering.
But I noticed a change in me. I knew we weren't standing in the same D/s roles as before, so it was, for me, just done for me. I did it because I wanted it, not for him as my D. I pulled his hands away, wriggled away and spoke out on some of the harder spanks.
I guess that this is it for me. I have a fear that I won't have TTWD anymore and it will just be an add-on to sex.
Having what I did with tO and sharing what we did - I WANT that, but can't even wrap my head around anyone but him...
Still speaking in the present tense about this even though it's over. This pain, the pain in my heart, this pain I don't like.
