Corsetry

The girl ordered a corset to be made back in May from Meschantes and got it the 2nd week in June.  She has only had the chance to wear it a few times, but she is already in love with it.  It gives her a sense of comfort and safety to wear it, and she feels settled.  Not to mention naughty, and sexy as hell.

It is a plain busk, under bust corset made out of black cotton coutil.  It is designed for tight lacing so it's pretty heavy duty.  It is very well made for the price.  The next one the girl gets will be from Puimond.  She had him make one for her about 10 years ago and it was the best corset she has ever owned (out of 5 customs) and also the most expensive.  Maybe a Christmas present for myself?  Check his gallery out at www.puimond.com.  He may still have some pics up of Julie Strain modeling some of his earlier work.  She is gorgeous.

The girl wants to know how you use corsetry in your training?  Is it just for costume?  Do you tight lace?  Are you looking for waist reduction?  How often and long do you wear yours?  Do you take advantage of the extra long laces?

The Effect Words Have

The girl is very tempted to go OOC and write in first person just to get this post done and out of her head!  But she is trying to be good, so she won't.

She is amazed how words have to the power to move a person in so many different ways.  They're just a grouping of letters, just shapes - symbols to represent sounds that together represent a thing, an action, a description...

and yet they can make you cry from sadness or from joy.  They can make you recall a specific time and event.  The power they have is amazing.

It is 5:19 am and the girl has already been moved by 3 words today: "Are you ready?"

Okay, to be truethfull, 2 other words moved her first, a first and last name she saw before opening an email.  Excitment woke up her foggy head.  Then her eyes jumped to these last three words and that excitment changed from a skipped heart beat and moved south to that familiar, and somewhat painfull pull that happens right before the girl gets wet.

My wcD has summoned me.

Sonnet 57

Being your slave, what should I do but tend

Upon the hours and times of your desire?

I have no precious time at all to spend,

Nor services to do till you require.

Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour

Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,

Nor think the bitterness of absence sour

When you have bid your servant once adieu.

Nor dare I question with my jealous thought

Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,

But, like a sad slave, stay and think of naught

Save where you are how happy you make those.


So true a fool is love that in your will,

Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.

- William Shakespeare

Pain

The girl will be the first to admit it - she's a pain slut.  She can usually turn pain into pleasure very  easily. 

There is, however, certain pain that even she can't transform: 

1. nerve pain
2. that awful, burning pain when your baby crowns
3. the pain that only someone you have allowed into your heart can inflict. 

The girl has endured a lot of the latter pain.  She may come off as indifferent when talking about it to people, but inside she hurts.

The rules and orders she receives from her ecD help for some reason.  They calm her down, settle her and distract her. 

Does anyone else out there have the same reaction to rules & punishments?

Frustrated

Yes.  Stamp your feet, scream at the top of your lungs til your face turns red or hold your breath until your face turns blue frustrated.

1 week before the girl's wcD's primary girl goes HOME.  This girl wants to play, too.

It's not fair.

Thank you.  The girl is done ranting and will now go back to kneeling like a good girl.

Outing

The girl is going out tonight!  She thinks.  An ex-coworker who lives in Seattle, and doesn't celebrate birthdays (just like the girl) decided to acknowledge his age this year and the girl wants to go. 

The girl misses going out and everything that goes along with it:  girlfriends showing up and taking over the bathroom, early pre-evening cocktails, doing each other's make-up, big hair - everything that goes with it.

If the girl can swing a couple of hours with her son babysitting the younger kids, then she will probably get to go.  Fingers are crossed.

If this party was 2 weeks from now, the girl could have arranged to meet with her wcD (West Coast Dom), or even take him with her.  That would be fun.  A collar with a delicate chain that HE held onto the whole night?  Yes.  But as fate would have it, his primary s is in town for another week and a half, so this girl doesn't get to play.

She only recently hooked up with her wcD.  They used to work together and he was a manager in their department.  It had been at least 6 years since the girl saw him and he looks as good as ever, probably better.

And YES, the girl has expectations and thinks that it is only right and okay for her to have them.  The girl wants to serve, the girl wants to be punished, but the girl wants her D to be worthy also, otherwise, why play?

Thoughts on ecD

The girl has known her ecD since she was 15.  They went to the same high school.  She lost her virginity to him, so they have some history, albeit limited.

He used to come into her work, a small convenience store.  He had eyes that sparkled with intelligence and a crooked grin that reeked of trouble.  He was tall, dark and handsome and she was quite taken with him.

Although she gave him her virginity, he was never her boyfriend, for reasons that don't belong in a blog.  Their differences were erased in senior year with an apology by the boy.

She did not see him much after graduation.  He left for college.  She worked at a bank while going to a local college. 

And then the girl moved to the West Coast and thought very little about the tall, dark and handsome boy with the crooked grin.  She eventually got married, had a child, got divorced and married again, and had 2 more children.

Facebook changed all of that.

The girl strongly believes that things happen for a reason.  She is trying to figure out why they have reconnected and clicked so well.  There is some reason that the boy with the crooked grin talks with her, shares things with her and helps her.  And there is also a reason he is indulging her need to be controlled.  She will let you know when she has figured it out.

She is very fond of him, as she expects one must in a D/s situation.  She marvels at the changes in him.  The boy with the crocked grin has matured into a fine man and father.

And he still has that crooked grin...

Where To Start?

The girl doesn't know.  There is so much that she wants to write about and convey and share, but how to organize it?

From the beginning?

From the present with glimpses into the past?

From a specific event in the middle and just let it flow from there?

The later.  The girl thinks she will start in the middle...

From YOU

I was thinking about making you
walk barefoot up the hill to my house,
undress in my living room
and stand there naked, and I ignore
you while you wait

to be touched, slapped, hair pulled
spanked, fucked...

An Offering

joined

  wrist to wrist

  hands clasped and pressed

  into the small of my back

sightless

  from the blindfold

  left only to imagine that

  you are there with me

exposed

  in nakedness

  kneeling ankles crossed, knees wide
  wetness forms between my legs

bound and waiting